My Journey from Surviving to Restoration

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When people ask me where my understanding of anxiety began, they expect me to talk about my years as a counsellor, my Master’s degree, or the work that eventually led to the mentoring I do today.

But the truth is, its a story that began long before that.

It began with a little girl who was simply trying to survive.

I didn’t know it then, but the ways I learned to survive would eventually become some of the hidden layers beneath my anxiety.

I grew up with a mother who had lived through the war. Although I didn’t understand it at the time, fear quietly shaped the world she lived in. I loved my mom deeply, and like many children, I absorbed far more than I realized.

Then I experienced abuse.

I didn’t have words for what was happening. I couldn’t explain why I felt the way I did. I only knew that somewhere along the way, my world no longer felt safe.

So, I did what children do.

I survived. I adapted. I created patterns that I used to create safety.

Looking back now, I can see that many of the patterns I carried into adulthood were useful for years – until they weren’t.  They were the ways my heart, mind, and body learned to protect me.

• I stayed alert.
• I tried to anticipate problems before they happened.
• I worked hard.
• I became responsible.
• I wanted to prove—to myself as much as anyone else—that I was okay.

Those survival strategies helped me build a productive life.

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From Surviving to Succeeding

Over the years, I earned a Master’s degree in Counselling Psychology. I became a counsellor, a leader, a clinical supervisor, a manager, and a Bible teacher. I learned to speak in front of groups, even though I was naturally shy and introverted.

I helped women with their problems.  I was competent and capable…

From the outside, I looked confident.

• Inside, I was still working incredibly hard just to stay one step ahead of anxiety.

I thought that if I healed just one more piece of myself, I would finally feel settled.

• So, I became a master at setting boundaries.
• I became more assertive.
• I improved my communication.
• I spent time in God’s Word and grew in my faith.
• I created strong, compassionate relationships.

Every one of those things mattered.

Every one of them helped.

But somehow, they still felt like separate pieces of a puzzle that never quite came together.

And I could NOT understand why.

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When My Body Began Telling the Truth

Eventually, my body began telling a story I could no longer ignore.

Over the years, I faced cancer, surgery, Type 2 diabetes, chronic stress, weight gain, rising cholesterol, poor sleep, and a body that seemed to be carrying more than it should.

And I simply kept going – because pushing through was what I had always done.

Until I couldn’t.

Until my third significant health scare – when my body unequivocally stated that IT HAD HAD ENOUGH!!!!

And I knew something had to change.

So, I stepped away from work in an attempt to get my health figured out.

But God…God had a different idea.  He felt it was time to heal MUCH MORE than that…

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The Beginning of Restoration

When I first stepped away from work, I began to spend more time with God.

• I prayed.
• I read Scripture.
• I sought Him with all my heart.
• I spent time with women I respected who had deep relationships with God and I learned from them.
• I learned A LOT about the Holy Spirit and began to hear His voice more and more.

But rest continued to elude me. 

I wanted to sit quietly with God, yet I couldn’t seem to settle.

• I felt… antsy.
• My body felt restless.
• My mind wanted to keep moving.

I did not understand why I could not simply BE with Him.  I thought I must be missing a spiritual step…

I had no idea that God was about to teach me one of the most important lessons of my life.

That is a story I will save for later 🙂

For now, this is what I want you to know.

Anxiety and “antsy-ness” are signals of struggle deep within ourselves. We are unable to sit still because we are feeling a barrier between ourselves and the woman we were created to be.

It was this realization that God revealed as He lovingly invited me on a journey from surviving to restoration.

As He healed my own heart, He also began showing me that anxiety isn’t simply something we overcome with more effort.

It’s an invitation to discover the deeper restoration He desires for every part of our lives.

And little by little, those scattered pieces that had never quite fit together finally began making sense.

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I Wonder…

I wonder if you’ve been doing what I did for so many years.

• Working hard.
• Loving God.
• Trying to become healthier.
• Trying to become calmer.
• Trying to become stronger.
• Yet quietly wondering why you still don’t feel at peace.

If that’s you, I want you to know something.

There is hope.

I found it, and I know that it is available for you, too.

You may simply be standing where I once stood—on the edge of a journey God longs to take with you.

In the next chapter of my story, I’ll share the surprising lesson God taught me that changed everything. It completely reshaped the way I understand anxiety, healing, and lasting restoration.

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What Is the Hidden Story Beneath Your Anxiety?

This is only one part of my story.

Over the years, God gently uncovered the hidden beliefs, survival strategies, and heart wounds that had shaped the way I saw myself, others, and even Him. As He did, He lovingly led me into greater freedom, peace, and restoration.

I wonder what He wants to show you about your story.

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “There has to be more to life than this,” I’d love to invite you to begin your own journey.

Begin with The Hidden Layers Beneath Anxiety (and other BIG emotions).

Maybe you’ve been longing for peace—the kind of peace that allows your body to settle and your mind to quiet.

Maybe you’ve been longing to trust yourself again—to feel confident in your decisions instead of second-guessing yourself.

Maybe you’ve been longing for deeper connection with God—to feel close to Him, hear His voice, and experience His presence in the middle of your everyday life.

Those longings matter.

And they may be pointing you toward something deeper than simply managing your anxiety.

On September 15, I invite you to join me for The Hidden Layers Beneath Anxiety (and Other BIG Emotions).

Together, we’ll begin uncovering what lies beneath the anxiety you can see on the surface—and discover what your anxiety has been trying to protect you from.

Because the patterns that once helped you survive can continue to shape your life long after you are safe.

You are ready for something different.

You’re ready to understand what is happening beneath the surface.

You’re ready to discover what you’ve been protecting yourself from—and what God is inviting you to heal.

You’re ready to move toward the peace you’ve been longing for, the confidence to trust yourself, and the deeper connection with God your heart desires.

Your anxiety has a story.

Come discover the hidden layers beneath it.

JOIN THE HIDDEN LAYERS BENEATH ANXIETY WORKSHOP

September 15 at 1 PM (PST).

I would love to have you with me.

May the God of Rest Fill You with His Presence,

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