What If You’ve Been Seeing God Through Your Survival Story?

Have you ever wondered why God sometimes feels distant, even though you love Him?

You read your Bible.

You pray.

You want to trust Him.

Yet somehow, you still wonder if you’re doing enough.

Maybe you’ve asked yourself questions like:

• Why doesn’t God feel close?
• Why do I still feel guilty?
• Why does it seem like everyone else has such an easy relationship with Him?

What if the problem isn’t that God has moved away?

What if you’ve been seeing Him through the lens of your survival story?

The Story I Didn’t Know I Was Carrying

When I was young, I loved God.

At least, I loved the God I thought I knew.

I accepted Jesus as my Saviour as a teenager, and I genuinely wanted to follow Him. I wanted to please Him. I wanted to do the right things.

So I tried.

• I read my Bible.
• I prayed.
• I went to church.
• I served.
• I tried harder.

I knew salvation was by grace. If someone had asked me, I would have said God’s love could never be earned.

But deep inside, I was carrying a different story.

Long before I understood God’s heart, I had already learned how relationships worked.

Growing up, I learned to keep the peace.

• I learned to make other people happy.
• I learned to pay attention to everyone else’s needs.
• I learned to be the good girl because somewhere deep inside I believed that if I did everything right, maybe I would be safe.

No one ever told me that God expected perfection.

But I quietly assumed He did.

I had spent so many years believing that acceptance came through performance that I unknowingly carried those same beliefs into my relationship with Him.

When Anxiety Made Those Beliefs Even Stronger

Years later, anxiety became part of my daily life.

Naturally, I turned to God.

• I wanted His peace.
• I wanted His comfort.
• I wanted to feel close to Him.

Instead, I often felt guilty.

• If I missed reading my Bible, I felt like I had let Him down.
• If my prayers wandered, I wondered whether I was failing Him.
• If life became busy, I felt disappointed in myself.
• The harder I tried to become a “good Christian,” the farther away God sometimes seemed.

Looking back now, I realize that I was seeing Him through everything I had learned about love from humans.  And, although that makes sense, God does not love like humans.

Perhaps Your Story Is Different

Your childhood may not have looked like mine.

But every one of us learns something about relationships.

• Perhaps you became the achiever.
• The responsible one.
• The perfectionist.
• The woman who never asks for help.
• The one who learned to stay quiet.
• The one who believed her needs came last.

Whatever your story, those beliefs don’t simply disappear when we become Christians.

Sometimes they quietly shape the way we see God.

If you’ve spent your life believing love must be earned…

• You may assume God feels the same way.

If you’ve spent your life trying to avoid disappointing people…

• You may quietly fear disappointing Him too.

Without realizing it, we begin relating to God through the lens of our experiences instead of through the truth of who He is.

The Moment Everything Began to Change

One day, while reading the story of Hagar, I discovered one of God’s names.

El Roi.

The God who sees me.

I sat with those words for a long time.

If God saw Hagar…

Could He really see me too?

• Not the capable version of me.
• Not the woman trying to keep everything together.
• The anxious me.
• The exhausted me.
• The woman who had spent years trying to earn what had already been freely given.

As I sat with my Bible open in my lap, asking God about this, I realized that I had a skewed view of God. 

I had been seeing God through my survival story – the story that I learned as a child about how to stay safe, how to belong, and how to be accepted.

I wasn’t seeing Him as He truly is.

I was seeing Him through the beliefs I had carried since childhood.

As God revealed His heart to me, I began seeing Him differently.  I began to concentrate on the names He calls Himself.  And I began sharing those names with my clients.

“Look at what I discovered about God!!!  Did you know that?” 

Some of my clients knew some of God’s names, but for many, what He called Himself became a turning point in our lives – the deepening of our trusting relationship with Him. 

And as we began seeing Him differently…

We began seeing ourselves differently too.

Not as women constantly falling short.

But as His daughters.

• Already loved.
• Already seen.
• Already invited into relationship.

What If God Is Inviting You to See Him Differently?

Maybe you’ve been carrying beliefs that no longer fit the woman God created you to be.

Maybe you’ve been working hard to earn what has always been yours.

Maybe the invitation today isn’t to try harder.

Maybe it’s to discover God’s heart.

Because when we begin seeing Him as He truly is…

Everything begins to change.

A Simple Next Step to Deepening Your Relationship with God

My healing didn’t begin because I found the perfect Bible reading plan.

It began because God slowly revealed His heart to me.

That’s why I created Calm & Connected – Daily Reminders of God’s Amazing Love.

It’s the devotional journal I wish I’d had years ago.

Over 14 days, you’ll spend meaningful time in Scripture, prayer, and reflection as you discover who God truly is and how deeply He loves you.

You’ll experience an immediate, meaningful step toward greater peace and confidence as you deepen your relationship with Him.

Transformation is a journey.

This devotional is the beginning of restoration—an invitation to know the God who has loved you all along.

May the God of Peace Give You Rest Today,

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